June 25, 2005

【今日のお悩み】Ｈがない・・・

【お悩み】元部下のＫ実27歳からこういう相談。「3年付き合って、1年前に分かれた年下の彼・・・Ｙ君とは連絡を取ってるんだ・・・で、うちに泊まりにくるんだよ、彼。でもねtomo課長・・・」と前から変わらない呼び方で持ちかけてきた。 「ＫＩＳＳもなければ、触らない・・・Ｈしないの。どう思う？」

【お答え】

＜tomoのお答え＞
？？？？エっ・・・・私には全く考えられないこの彼の行動。
私は明らかに彼に彼女がいると感じると・・・
頻繁に会わない男が隣に寝ていて、何もないなんて・・・
どっかで発散してる！彼女に求めているのは、心のよりどころ。
年上の女に話を聞いて欲しいんだろう。

こういう男の子増えてきてるんじゃないかしら？？匠？


＜匠のお答え＞
tomo、確かにそういう男性が増えてるような気はするね。
若い人にそういのが「面倒くさい」ってのは、多くなっていると思うよ。
世の男性が、かなり女性化してきているからね。

今回のお悩みの場合、ちょっとこれだけの情報ではわからないが、
確かにtomoのいうような理由の可能性もあると思うね。

大きく分けて、２パターン
�“狃�に心の安らぎだけを求めている
��彼女にそういうことを求めた後の拒絶反応を恐れている。
だと思う。

�，両豺腓蓮∀辰鯤垢い討△欧襪箸い鵑犬磴覆い�な。
彼氏ではないわけだし、Ｈをする必要はないと思うのだが。
変にそこでＨをして、さらに彼のことを好きになると、後で苦労するのは彼女のほうだから。
それを承知で受け入れるのであれば、ＯＫだけどね。

�△両豺隋�彼からのサインがあると思うので、それに気づいてあげるべき。
さっきもいったけど、基本的には、Ｈはやらないほうがいいと思うんだけど、彼女がそうしたいのであれば、彼のＨしたいサインを注意深く見てみて下さい。
例えば、そういうトークをしてくるとか。
それを認めて受け入れるアクションアクションを彼女の方がおこせば、
拒絶される怖さが減って、彼もアタックしやすくなると思うよ。

もしくは、彼女の方から仕掛けていくのもありだと思うね。

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